By Kirsty Gilpin
March 15, 2010
From the moment that a woman learns the exciting news of an expected baby, she is able to find out remarkable details about the life developing inside her. Hearing the baby’s heartbeat at that first doctor’s appointment is one of life’s sweet moments.
Almost from the time a child is conceived we are told how our child is doing based on the “norm” according to averages based on other babies at that stage of development. During the various stages of pregnancy these reports help to gauge the health of the child and also provide reassurance to anxious parents.
However, this comparison to the averages that starts in the womb initiates a habit of comparison that, left unchecked, can become a very destructive habit to the spiritual lives of parents and children. As our children age, we compare their growth, when they walk, when they talk – even the stages of their potty training!
Once our children enter school the comparisons only increase, which include comparing grades, sports achievements, books read, trips taken, etc. It never seems to stop even when children are grown and on their own.
No one is edified by this constant comparison (2 Corinthians 10: 12- 13).For those gifted in the eyes of the world, it can quickly lead to pride. For those gifted in ways not immediately valued by the world, the result can be feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem.
Rather than comparing your child, work to find ways to affirm them. You can do this by being attentive to your child’s unique interests, and then working to cultivate one or more of those interests. It could be related to the arts, sports, a hobby, or some other activity. This is also a great way to possibly identify a child’s vocational interest early on in life.
Each child is uniquely talented and at the time of their salvation, gifted in order to be able to serve God exactly the way that He has planned for them. As parents, it is our privilege to help them to find this place of special service.
As soon as we begin comparing ourselves or our children to the world, we set the bar much lower than it should be. Instead, we should recognize that the ultimate goal is Christ’s perfection, obtainable only through Him. This focus on Christ and to their need for Him in their lives.
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Kirsty Gilpin lives in Lakeland home-schools their two young children.